I remember one of my male cousins telling me that it was a sucker’s game getting hitched up to an awesome looking girl because you had to be on guard to ensure that no one would steal her away like Helen of Troy and the Trojan Horse and all, not that anyone would have been likely to steal the Trojan Horse.
Let’s return to Paris Arm Mama, who was playing centre forward. We were walloping the boys and reveling in it just like a pig in mud. It was glorious. Yes, it was glorious, until the accident that is. Mama Bindler caught an edge and down she went. Fortunately, it was not before she had gotten a slap shot away. The puck bounced off the goalie’s pads and rolled in for our fourth goal, not that we really needed another one, at least not at the price that Mama Bindler had to pay. Under the circumstances, the boys graciously conceded defeat.
One of the boys brought down the four-wheel drive down from the barn and Mama was carted off to hospital in Red Deer about forty miles away. One moment we had been on top of the world and the next we were down in the dumps. There was no need to commiserate with Mama Bindler though because she kept her sense of humour all the way through the ordeal. Old Doc Ellison, he’s passed on now, said that it was one of the worst breaks that he had ever seen. A compound fracture of the forearm can be painful especially when the bone has to be put back into place.
“Took a bucket and a half of plaster of Paris, but you’ll be as good as new in about six weeks, Dolores,” Old Doc Ellison said.
“Did I mention, we walloped them boys four goals to zero?” Mama Bindler asked as she said goodbye to Old Doc Ellison.
“You’d better lay off the hockey for awhile,” the good doctor replied.
We trudged out into a late afternoon chill that had become noticeable as soon as the sun began to sink behind the Rockies. We went home to the Bindlers and had a sumptuous dinner prepared by Cindy Sugar Snaps older sister, Mary Bell Ellen who had come home for a spell while her husband was on an assignment for Telus, installing a new cell network in Saudi Arabia.
And that is how Mama Bindler became our hockey coach. One Saturday afternoon, about three weeks later, a young fan came up to her and asked if he could put one of his stickers on her Paris Arm and that’s how Paris Arm Mama came to be.
As for Mustang Marvin, that’s another story. That kid hasn’t got any more sense than a raccoon. He spends almost all of his weekends, either under one of his beloved Mustangs or else washing them. All three are black showing every speck of dust that blows across the prairie. Besides, how many cars can a person drive at one time, I ask you? If I live to be 159, I don’t think I’ll ever figure out Mustang Marvin. However, I don’t think I will waste my time trying to figure him out either. I’ll leave that up to Trudy Trollop. Now that’s a nickname that needs no explaining. Trudy lives one farm over and has had a crush on Marvin since way back when Marvin was simply Marvin, long before he was of legal age to drive. Of course, he was not interested. Besides, he already had a perfectly nice girl friend.
That’s just about it for today. I’ve got to get my Science homework finished before Edward arrives. I am being very careful to refer to him as Edward instead of his nickname because if I were to let it slip out all hell would break loose. Questions may be asked and we can’t have that now can we? If they got an inkling of the plans that I had for Fast Eddie and me, my mother would know and my father would be paralyzed with shock.
While waiting for Fast Eddie to appear, I will practice my introduction.
“Mother and Father,” I will say. “I would like you to meet, Edward Fasco. We have something that we wish to share with you.” I will then pause, just to be certain that we have their attention. “We have been brought together to work on a special project.” I think another pause would be in order here just to heighten the suspense. “We have the honour of bringing a dramatic new life into the town of Donalda, one born of talent and love.” Very short pause. “We have been selected to play the lead roles in Romeo and Juliet.”
Mom and Dad do inaudible sighs successfully. I think they will leave us alone to practice our roles. I don’t think that we will have to worry about Mommy calling down to the rec room. “What are you children doing down there? You’re awfully quiet.”
“Just playing Romeo and Juliet.”
“That’s nice. Don’t fight.”
It is a question of life imitating art. I’m looking forward to it. I am looking forward to the first three acts or so, right up to the scene where Romeo thinks I’m dead with the blush of youth still on my cheeks. From then on, the story sucks. But then again that’s life in the fast lane.
the end