“You will soon learn the true meaning of the privilege that has been bestowed upon you.”
There was a stirring among the young men and women, who had been enticed to consider this place that promised a robust future, one that was free from the trammels of the end of life on their mother planet. They waited impatiently to learn why they were among the chosen few.
“Welcome to Paradisio, my friends.” Commander Commander’s voice filtered gently into their headsets.
Although it had the semblance of paradise, it was not home. In their selection process, what criteria had their gentle abductors used? John Matronal was as puzzled as anyone.
The leader paused. “Before you allow yourself to be captivated by the seductive charm of our parallel universe. . . There was a titter from the Paradisians. “Our seductive charm is . . . ? There was barely a ripple this time but it was enough to break the speaker’s train of thought. “Our seductive charm is deceptive,” he managed to finish.
Sort of detracts from the ambience of the glowing white light and all those electronic gizmos that Bill Gates would gladly die for, John Matronal decided. Technologically precocious but somewhat sexually repressive or regressive, he couldn’t quite make his mind up. Or was seduction so unnecessary in Paradisio that its only use was as an ironic gesture?
John Matronal gazed at his compadres. They all had the same blank look. We are unable to relate to the local humour, he thought. And as an afterthought, he was struck by the way that this damned universe had warped his syntax. He wasn’t the only one. The audience could somehow not perceive the style of humour in this locale, he realized.
“There is a catch,” the Commander continued. “Those of you who choose to stay must think deeply. You must look into yourselves. You must decide if you can abide by our rules. Our prescription for everlasting continuance carries with it a certain proscription. If there is any man amongst you, who has just cause why he cannot abide, let that man speak now, or forever remain rooted in silence. If there is any woman amongst you, who has just cause why she cannot abide, let that woman speak now or forever remain rooted in silence. If you decide to join our community, you must cleave to our rules, one to the other.
There is a vast difference between our two cultures. A static moment made come out as vas deferens. Matronal found the idea of a duct millions of light years long strangely amusing. Forsake all others filtered through. You must be faithful to this for all time. For keeping the faith, you will be amply rewarded. You will be rewarded as no other in no other universe has ever been privileged before.”
“In the fullness of time, your perfection will become complete. At that time, you will briefly separate yourselves from our community so that your perfection can be cloned and a new you made ready to join us. You and you alone must decide. It is a privilege not accorded to many. Many are called but few are chosen.”
A message appeared on a holographic screen, a screen that had been until that moment invisible. The words appeared in the Earthling language of choice, Matronal had inadvertently learned while leaning forward to retrieve his clipboard. Moving slightly to the side while trying not to take his eyes off the holograph, he had realized that many languages were represented in the audience, which must number in the thousands. He contented himself with watching the scrolling. For a change, he leaned to the right and read Portuguese for a moment. Leaning to the left, he could comprehend only a character or two but noted that the scrolling was slower. He settled back in his chair and stayed with English for he did not want to miss a single word of the message that was silently scrolling through space. Visitors to the planet were promised a superlative future, if they would indeed subscribe.
Give up your primitive rituals flashed at intermittently. If they would just embrace the future that was so generously being provided for them, they would enjoy a wondrous existence in the parallel universe, an existence without parallel. Their genes would travel with them. At the moment when all becomes One, they would be the ongoing generation.
“In Paradisio, we call this the Orgasmic Moment! This is the Way! This is the moment of Supreme Ecstasy!”
The scroll device froze on a curt message: Discussion Please!
If I had not seen just how advanced this civilization is, thought Matronal, I would have thought that their computer had encountered one of those glitchy moments when a maddening not responding used to flash on his 486. He gazed at the girl, who sat at his right hand. She was divinely dark and beautiful. He theorized that she spoke Spanish for she looked Mexican. He thought how lucky he was to be sitting next to such an enticing young woman. The thought that she was somehow his sister detracted from the moment and made him feel uncomfortable. This feeling was one that he could not permit himself to have for a sister. How could that be? His sister was a willowy blonde who still wore braces. The Mexican girl was at least three or four years older. She had perfect teeth and a sparkling smile.
He spoke to her in Spanish. To his surprise, she answered in English, telling him that she was from Brazil. So she speaks Portuguese. How silly of me, he chided himself. Of course, I was reading her message just a few short moments ago. He tried a few words of Portuguese and to his continued surprise, she answered him in English again but the confusing thing was that her accent seemed to have changed. He asked her in French if she could speak English and she said but yes in English with an entirely new accent. This was most confusing but was verging on the amusing.
He excused himself for a moment. He spoke to her in English for he was not confident of his Portuguese to speak to her in her native tongue, not that it would have done any good anyway. “Don’t go away. I’ll be right back.”
He turned to the Oriental girl to his left and said, “Excuse me, may I make a request of you?”
At her nod, he said, “Please tell me that you love me in Chinese.”
She said, “I love you in Chinese.” Her melodious words were accompanied by a wondrous smile. She spoke English with an accent that was charming.
“Awh oy neih,” he said using the Cantonese words for I love you. It had been a very useful phrase for getting to know Chinese girls at college. They were, he realized with chagrin, the only words of Chinese that he knew.
She replied in English but with a different accent than the one used in the previous utterance. He excused himself and returned his attention to the Brazilian beauty.
“I’m back,” he said in Fijian for his father had once been stationed in Suva with Cable and Wireless. He could make small talk in the language. To his amazement, she answered him in English but with a completely new accent.
A flash of insight finally penetrated his thick skull and he took off his headset or rather he tried to. It seemed to be stuck to his head. He thought for a moment that he would dearly love to be back on the mother planet but only with this charming girl although he still could quite shake the sensation that she was somehow his sister. The incest taboo must be sprayed in the atmosphere, he decided. He gave the headset a strong tug but it would not budge. The girl touched his headset and it slid off effortlessly.
The girl smiled at him and spoke to him in Portuguese. She used simple words that had Spanish cognates. This time the words came out in Portuguese, not in English and the accent was divine. It was heavenly. He could listen to that accent for the rest of his life. John had new and confused feelings now. It had been quite a day and it was far from over.
As they rose, he took the girl’s hand. “Wait,” he said. He reached over and took off her headset.
“Thank goodness, you are no longer my brother,” she said smiling up at him. “By the way, my name is Maria Alfredo.”
“I’m happy to meeting you,” John Matronal said feeling shy. It was a new experience for him. Maria Matronal, he thought and wondered where the thought had come from.
After an afternoon spent touring the commune, they were adamant that they wished to be reunited with their mother planet. On their tour one thing had nagged at John’s spirit. When he spoke of it, he was pleased to note that Maria also found it an appalling deprivation that would not willingly embrace and in fact was clearly not programmed to forego.
There were no children!
That is because Orgasmic moments in Paradisio are saved up,” John said cheekily in a vain attempt to hide the pang that he too felt.
“Imagine never being able to hold a baby in your arms,” Maria whispered.
John felt like crying. “Impossible,” he said unable to explain what he meant. Finding a lack that he had never before comprehended, he found more than a little disquieting. “The ultimate sacrifice,” I would say.
Commander Commander and the members of the selection committee appeared and were devastated when Maria and John advised them that they wished to be trans-planeted.
“What is it about Paradisio that you cannot abide?” one of the committee members asked apparently in a last ditch attempt to dissuade the two recalcitrant individuals from their decision to depart.
Maria glanced at John. He nodded. She spoke. “We wish to forego your offer of Supreme Ecstasy.” He blush was readily apparent for before this moment, she had never allowed herself to think of ecstasy and now she was denying it. Although the promised ecstasy was not what she had been taught to avoid, the connotations of the word contributed to a feeling of unease. Ecstasy had been something for later, something best left unspoken, at least for now. It was something that nice Brazilian girls did not allow themselves to acknowledge except in a seemingly unconscious way. Surprised at her bravado, she added. “We will make our own perfection.”
John said, “Soon.”
“I cannot fathom the proclivities of Earthlings. How can you allow yourselves to make the ultimate sacrifice by indulging in such primitive ritual?” Commander Commander rubbed his helmet thoughtfully. “You will never taste the Orgasmic Moment.”
The committee members bowed their heads in horror at the thought of this unnecessary sacrifice of two lives that could have contributed to the depleted gene pool of the parallel universe. These two lives should have been accorded the Ultimate Privilege.
“We intend to abide by your decision to forego the opportunity to experience Paradisio,” Commander Commander said. Although pagan coupling is something that we gave up several Millenia ago, nevertheless we honour your commitment one to the other. Although for the life of me, I cannot see why you would want to forego what we have to offer, we shall return you to your mother planet.
With all thy knowledge get wisdom, John Matronal silently admonished his abductors but was careful to keep his own counsel. He allowed himself to smile a relieved smile. Maria Alfredo stood beside him with but the faintest blush of anticipation in her cheeks.
the end